On Sun, 19 Jun 2011 23:08:22 +1000, Noons wrote:

Several years ago, one gentleman, that happened to be an end user of an
application that was accessing an Oracle instance, reported me to HR. The
event that he was complaining about was the following: he called the IT,
DBA service and complained that the database is slow today. It was me who
picked up and explained to him that the databases without users or data
never create problems for anyone and that it's all his fault. The HR
person who was adjudicating the complaint didn't like the guy, so nothing
really happened. However, I still do receive calls and complaints from
people complaining that the "database is slow". The "database" is
somewhat vaguely defined term, like "the Force" from the Star Wars
movies. Being my usual self, I now get people to admit that the
application is what is being slow, because they don't have access to the
database in the first place. With an appropriate dose of humor, you can
train the end users to tell you that when they press "Submit" button in
the window for ***, they are waiting for * minutes. That's something I
can work with. If the user tells me that the database is slow or that
indexes are slow, he's practically guaranteed to have a Black Adder like
conversation with me, with him being treated as Baldrick. I love the
smell of napalm in the morning.



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